1. You are in no way to blame.
The words and actions of the person bullying you can often make you think that there is something wrong with you, and that is the reason why you are being targeted. It is important to know that the bullying you are experiencing actually has almost nothing to do with you and everything to do with the person who is bullying you.
We can’t always identify the exact reason why somebody decides to act in this manner but we do know that those who bully others have complex issues that are not being addressed elsewhere (such as the divorce of their parents or a family bereavement). Unfortunately you cannot control other people’s behaviour any more than you can control gravity. So let yourself off the hook, this was never your fault.
2. You don’t have to suffer in silence.
Having experienced bullying at various stages of life, what stands out when I look back, is how slow I was to realise that by reporting the bullying to a teacher, manager or authority I might have put an end to it and received the support I so desperately needed. Forget the stiff upper lip cliché; it is an unhelpful and unhealthy way to approach a problem. Be aware that you can experience bullying at any age and that there is no shame in reporting it and seeking support or guidance. Put your happiness and mental health first.
“The bullying you are experiencing actually has almost nothing to do with you and everything to do with the person who is bullying you”
3. Denial is not just a river in Egypt.
Do not play down what you are going through. Bullying often goes unreported because people continually pretend that what they are experiencing ‘isn’t a big deal’, either out of embarrassment or fear, or a combination of both. While some people turn to denial as a coping mechanism, it can stop us getting help or seeking the support we need. Once you acknowledge what is happening, you can start to make positive changes to help and heal yourself.
4. Don’t give credence to other people’s opinions.
It might seem impossible to totally disregard other people’s opinions, but really if you think about it, what do other people’s opinions actually matter? If they want to comment, let them! It’s what you think of yourself that really counts. Don’t let other people dictate your self worth!
“Don’t let other people dictate your self-worth”
5. Just because it hits a sore spot doesn’t mean that it’s true.
If someone points out/picks on a factor you might feel insecure and sensitive about – be it appearance, disability, sexuality or any other unique factor – it can feel like you are getting confirmation that there is something wrong with you. Just remember that you are perfect the way you are! Everyone is different – that’s the beauty of the world. Unfortunately, instead of taking the time to understand or embrace that difference, some people act negatively towards the unknown.
6. Hurt people hurt.
Often, we find that those who bully are responding aggressively to a traumatic and stressful event, such as a bereavement of a family member or their parents’ divorce. It is also a good indicator as to how the person doing the bullying sees themselves; for instance, if somebody is constantly poking fun at how others look, it is more than likely they are doing so to deflect away from their own appearance-based insecurities.
“It is vital, during a traumatic time, that you have a support system and people who you can rely on”
7. A problem shared is a problem halved.
You shouldn’t go through something like this alone as it is extremely stressful and can be emotionally draining and taxing to endure bullying.
This stress can have impact on all areas of your life, including your mental wellbeing, ability to communicate with others, performance in school/work, self-esteem etc. It is therefore incredibly important that you tell somebody you trust about what you are going through; it doesn’t even have to be an adult – it could be a friend or somebody at Ditch the Label. It is vital, during a traumatic time, that you have a support system and people who you can rely on when you are feeling low, or unable to cope.
8. You are not a victim.
Often people who are bullied can feel like a ‘victim’ but it’s important that you don’t disempower yourself and let the bullying dictate who you are. You need to find ways to regain control, confidence and self-esteem – we have a great guide on how you can rebuild your self-esteem.
Remind yourself every day that you are worthy, in control and that things will get better. Head to our blog to read stories of how people have overcome similar situations and gone on to do great things, it will help reassure you that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
“We found that 1 in 2 people between the ages of 12-18 have been bullied at some point”
9. You are not alone.
Billions of people on this planet will go through bullying; in our Annual Bullying Survey 2016, we found that 1 in 2 people between the ages of 12-18 have been bullied at some point. In the UK alone, that’s roughly 1.5 million who have been bullied within the past year.
10. You were always enough.
Regardless of how people treat you, how many friends you have, what you look like, how much money you have, whether you have a disability, whatever your sexuality is, however many followers you have, whether you are single, whether you are not invited to a party, whether you struggle at sports, whether you have a disfigurement, whether you are overweight, whether you are underweight, whatever you have been through or are going through: You are enough.
