So, all your pals are coupled up and you couldn’t be happier for them, right? Still, it can be a bit shit being the last single person in the group. Fifth wheeling and riding solo can be a nightmare when your last wing-person bites the dust. Well, we know how ya feel. Check out this list of struggles that only you can understand.
1) Getting the gang altogether is now your full-time job
Which is funny, because getting the whole gang together in one place to hang out like old times is now also completely impossible. You would think that technology would make organising stuff easier but surprisingly, it really doesn’t.
2) Going out means you are flying solo for at least half the evening
Because it’s impossible to get the gang together for anything without the other halves in tow, a night will probably result in you going solo when they all get coupled up. It’s chill though, because you are a strong independent person.
3) No one has any money to hang out with you…
Relationships are shockingly expensive, as all your pals now know. And you know now too, because no one has any money to spend on fun with you because it’s all gone on Dominos pizza, Nando’s and cinema tickets. Just wait until they all start buying houses together.
4) …And even if they do, you will always end up third wheeling anyway
When they do eventually have enough money to spend time off the sofa with you, you probably will end up being the person who has to buy their own burger in Nando’s because they’ve bought a chicken and three sides to share.
5) Everyone looks at you with pity…
The look. You know which one we’re talking about. That one where people kinda tilt their head to the side, when you make a joke about being single, and look at you like you’re a puppy without a home.
6) …And they all ask you about your love life all the time, or lack of one
Why oh why do people in relationships assume your personal life is fair game for open discussion?? You’ve probably considered making stuff up just to keep them entertained but you know it will only invite more questions.
7) Everyone assumes you want a relationship
Because who doesn’t want one? Well it turns out plenty of people have really good reasons for not wanting to be in a relationship, and you are one of them. So, you do you, don’t let the world tell you what shit to do.
8) If you do get some time with the crew, it becomes a recap of everyone’s latest relationship dramas
Gone are the days where you chat total rubbish about video games, makeup, YouTube or how much homework you had that you didn’t want to do. Prepare your best pretend ‘I definitely want to hear this story about your partner for the sixteenth time’ face, because it’s coming whether you like it or not.
9) But they are all still your friends…
No matter what, they are still your best buddies in the world, and despite everything, you still love them to pieces.
10) …And they will always have your back…
They still want to wing-person you when they can, and they definitely will still write your opening messages on Tinder for you because they want to help as much as they can if you ask
11) …And if you’re really lucky, all their other halves are your pals now too.
Your gang just got a hell of a lot bigger. It might not be rosy all the time, but your mates are still your mates, and their other halves could always bring something new to the group that can be pretty amazing sometimes.
Want to read more? Check out this article by Max Hovey on his experiences of being the last single guy in the group.
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