We’ve all been there. Spending ages scrolling through your story views for their name, working and concentrating is a thing of the past and even your favourite things suddenly don’t seem so great because they are on your mind. Sounds like you got it bad.
But when you fancy someone and they don’t feel the same way, not only does this not disappear, it can feel a hell of a lot worse. That’s why we put our heads together with Lynx for this list of the 8 most important things you need to remember when this happens.
We know it feels rubbish now, but you got dis. Don’t worry.
1) It’s not about you, trust us
It can be easy to feel like you have been rejected because there is something fundamentally wrong with you. Trust us, this is absolutely not the case. You are who you are, and if this time the other person wasn’t into it, it does not mean that there won’t be someone in the future who loves everything about you.
Trying to change how you look, what you wear or the stuff you love to do is never going to make this person fall for you, and it will only ever make you unhappy. Do you, and be patient.
2) It’s OK to not be OK
It’s OK to feel rubbish about this for a while. Feeling rejected is horrible and it’s completely natural to let it get to you. The important thing is not to dwell on it for too long. Get your mates together for a kick around or to play some video games when you feel like it’s getting you down so you get the chance to chill and feel like your normal self every once in a while as well.
3) Getting angry at them is not going to help
Probably sounds obvious right? Apparently not. All they’ve said is no; and they are completely within their rights to do that if they aren’t feeling it. It doesn’t mean it’s personal and it doesn’t mean you necessarily did anything wrong. Sometimes it’s something you can’t control at all.
4) And forcing your company on them probably won’t either
So TV and movoies have a lot to answer for. We all get taught that if someone rejects us romantically, we should go ahead and pursue them to the ends of the earth until they realise they loved us all along. But holding a boombox outside someone’s window, leaving presents outside their house, or turning up where they usually hang out is not going to get them to change their mind. It’s actually kinda creepy.
Respect their decision, and let them do their thing. It will better for the both of you in the long run.
5) Rejection is super normal
We’re sure you don’t need us to say this again but rejection is normal. Completely normal and it happens to everyone. Do really think that every single couple walking around on the planet had that handed to them on a plate without ever having to deal with being turned down for a date, getting in an argument, being dumped, or anything else that can totally suck in a relationship? Of course not! Everyone has their baggage – you are not alone.
6) Try not to overthink it
Rejection is a completely normal thing to happen and, what’s more, it happens to everyone. Literally everyone. Sometimes, it can feel like a big deal. Try to remember that there could be a million reasons as to why they don’t want to go out again. Don’t tell yourself you’re stupid or that you made a mistake. There’s more to be learned from failure than success. You are not to blame and rejection does not define you.
7) It doesn’t mean you can never hang out again
It might seem a bit like you can never spend time with them again, especially if they know you like them and they don’t feel the same way. But, there is no rule that says you guys can’t still hang out, have a good time and do all the stuff you usually do. As long as you think you can deal with it, and they feel comfortable, then you’ll get back to your old self in no time.
8) And down the line, you will like someone else again
At the moment, it might really feel like you will never like anyone else ever again. How could you, when all you do is think about them, check your phone for their messages and scroll your story views for their name? But trust us, as much as you were fine before they came along, you will be OK. In a week, a month, maybe a year, someone else will turn up in your life who makes you feel all the same things as this person does, and maybe this time, everything will work out.
Looking for more advice on anything from confidence to relationships to sex? We’ve teamed up with the awesome guys over at Lynx to bring you a place where you can get everything you need to know. Click here to find out more.
