In the middle of a heated discussion, as infuriating as it may be, sometimes its best to agree to disagree. The key ingredient to any full-blown argument is miscommunication.
When we don’t feel heard, we look for other ways to explain what we’re saying because we believe that we are being misunderstood. This leads to us repeating the same thing over and over, and louder and louder.
In reality, we are not struggling to understand each other. We’re simply not listening to each other at all.
Respect is key, our experts at DTL have put together this nifty acrostic to help you keep a balanced discussion from turning in to a full blown argument:
R
Role reversal: as hard as it might seem, try to put yourself in the other person’s shoes. Try to understand their reasoning and find respect for their opinion – even if you believe they are fundamentally wrong.
E
Elevated emotion leads to arguments and fall outs. Keep everything in perspective, opinions change and shift as quick as the weather. Never let it get physical, no matter how passionate you are.
S
Stay cool. Take your time and listen! Everyone thinks that their opinion is right. The people who can at least acknowledge and hear out the other side of the argument will almost always come out on top. Be that person.
P
Practise what you preach. No one thinks that they are hypocrite but do your actions really reflect what you believe? If not, take a long old look in the mirror my friend.
E
Everyone has a different experience, so opinions will always differ. It’s about being able to empathise with the fact that a person’s opinion is shaped around their life experience.
C
Curb your assumptions. Back up your points with hard evidence. Avoid sweeping statements and actually ask your opponent why they think what they do.
T
Think carefully. Mid argument, we have a tendency to just hurl out a load of hurtful words which we can’t take back. Remember, toothpaste, tube and all that. Discussions turn into arguments when things get personal. Don’t let them get personal.
