No one deserves to be bullied. Especially not because of their sexuality or who they are friends with. The next instalment in our LGBT+ World Voices series presents Jason Frazer, who after experiencing bullying throughout his school life, Jason is finally back on top and using his experiences to help others…
Jason’s Story:
So my story begins on the plateau in Johannesburg, South Africa. I come from city called Benoni. It’s one of those not too big, not too small types of places (similar to Brighton actually). Where you recognise the faces, know the family name and chances are … you went to High School with that one’s sibling.
For as far back as I can remember, I was different. Now, as a 26 year old White African Man, I can proudly say that I am gay. But my ‘being different’ wasn’t always attributed to me being gay. It was also the fact that I embraced the New South Africa as a young child…and I got flack for it.
My parents raised me in the promise of a ‘new tomorrow’ for a country. It was so bitter for far too long and at last things were changing for the better. When I was born in 1990, Nelson Mandela and similar heroes were already released from prison. A dawn for an inclusive South Africa was on the horizon and my parents were proud of this. In 1994, I stared my pre-school year with the first wave of kids that embodied Nelson Mandela’s vision. I was in school with other kids from different backgrounds, different religions and most importantly, different colours. This is where I was taught to love, to make friends and to learn from others.
At the age of 7, I clearly remember being pushed, poked, mocked & teased by older children. I was being bullied. It was my first taste of it. The reason? Quite simple actually…I was a white kid, playing with black children my own age and I spoke ‘their’ language. I was nicknamed “Die wit kaffir!” – “The white kaffir!”
“At the age of 7, I clearly remember being pushed, poked, mocked & teased by older children. I was being bullied. It was my first taste of it.”
I never knew, until I was much older, the impact of that first account of being bullied and how it would shape my entire school career, right up until University. Throughout primary school, I never let it bother me. The name calling, the spitting, the verbal bullying and exclusion from others. In a way I was happier being with my black friends because it felt right. Speaking and learning day in day out about their cultures gave me an insight to the wonders of our people in Southern Africa.
[full-width-figure image=”https://dtl-staging.org/2020/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/saJason.jpg” alt=”growing up gay in South Africa”]
For the duration of primary school, I was always deemed an ‘outcast’ and it wasn’t until I was about 11 years old, that I heard the word ‘faggot!’ A new label and a different type of bullying. It was a strange time for me, because my body was going through all these changes. I grew super fast, I was super slim and constantly hungry, tired and energetic. It was the start of puberty and I was a late bloomer!
‘Faggot’ remained a staple verbal sword in my side for many years and I thought with moving on to High School and changing schools, that things would get better. It did in some way get better because while everyone was trying to fend for their new roles in a new school, no one really had time to think about the boy sitting in the corner.
Throughout High School I struggled with my sexuality. I was called derogatory names daily and I was so conflicted. At the age of 16, I applied to be an exchange student in Europe. Within a few months I headed off to Vienna; my first time travelling alone. I was gone for three months and it was fantastic, I experienced a modern school with different teaching methods and most importantly…unique people. I grew so much in those three months and returned to South Africa questioning the world, love, boys etc.
“Throughout High School I struggled with my sexuality. I was called derogatory names daily and I was so conflicted.”
I overcame a lot of struggles during High School & Uni. When my self-esteem and body image was being attacked, I joined a modelling agency (purely to walk the runway in front of people and build back confidence). When my Africaness and pale complexion was thrown into question, I walked the walk … but mostly talked the talk in Zulu, Afrikaans and English!
Fast forward a few years and now I am a proud, confident, gay, African man who has over a million views on YouTube and is living in Brighton, UK. I have realised that I want to be helping people that are affected by bullying because I wish someone was there for me when I was being run down. I’ve got a unique story and I’ve learnt a lot over the past 26 years.
– Jason x
Check out Jason’s YouTube Channel below:
