Over the years, Ditch the Label have written many guides and support articles to help you face and deal with bullying. One of the core pieces of advice that we give is the importance of sharing what you are going through and being honest with someone you trust. For so many of us, that in itself feels like the impossible thought and is a major stumbling block in getting the help and support we deserve.
So why is it so damn hard to just open our mouths and talk?
SHAME.
Shame is as toxic and erosive as acid. It causes immeasurable damage to our wellbeing and is one of the biggest offenders for why we silence ourselves in the face of being bullied, coming out, or dealing with mental health issues. The bottom line is when we feel shame, what we are thinking is ‘I AM BAD’ not ‘something bad happened to me’ or I did something bad, shame sends the message YOU are bad. The difference is huge and guess what the antidote for shame is? To talk about it, to share it, to out it, and I promise you it will begin to lessen. Don’t let shame silence you, you are too important.
Embarrassment.
Embarrassment is another biggie for why we don’t feel able to talk about the big stuff like being bullied – for this one, we have our egos to thank. Our egos can’t stand being embarrassed and will do anything to stop this happening including keeping our mouths shut. But how unfair is that? When something happens that is out of our control, our egos pipe up with ‘better keep that one quiet’ and not tell anyone. You have nothing to be embarrassed about so always share your problems!
Fear.
Fear has a lot to answer. It’s a fundamental reason for why we all keep quiet and don’t tell anyone what’s going on. It can be a suffocating emotion that quickly takes over if we let it. Fear, like embarrassment, doesn’t want to be discussed and distorts our thinking. Living in fear and silence can be a living hell. So if there is something you are just too scared to talk about it with anyone, contact us here. There will be no judgement, just support.
Denial.
Denial has most definitely earned itself a place on this list. When we deny something is going on in our lives either unconsciously or consciously we stop ourselves from getting much needed help. Every time we kid ourselves that the bullying isn’t that bad or try to handle it alone, it comes at a price. Really ask yourself, is staying quiet and denying it worth your future happiness? All denial can ever offer is a pause button from facing reality and never a way to fully get through it.
Isolation.
Being bullied is a very lonely experience. It leaves you feeling exposed and singled out. This feeling of isolation is exactly what can stop us from talking about it. The more alone we feel in what we are going through, the less we want to ask for help. If you are reading this and there is something going on that you haven’t told anyone. Join our online community and post your questions anonymously in a safe space that’s just for you.
Blame.
One of the biggest reasons why we can struggle to talk about being bullied and share what’s going on is blame. We very easily begin to think that we are the problem and it is our fault. We blame ourselves and internalize all the negativity. Being bullied is never your fault. Please don’t let that kind of thinking stop you from telling someone close to you.
If you are being bullied, you do not need to go through it alone. If you ever need help, Ditch the Label is here for you. You can contact us here or for more help, join our community.
