We interviewed TV personality and showbiz reporter Andy West about his experiences with bullying, coming out and how he has coped with a tumultuous year
DtL: Hi Andy, could you tell us a bit about yourself?
Andy: My name is Andy West and I’m a former BBC TV newsreader, now working as a presenter and TV personality. I feel really chuffed to be chatting to you. I love learning about history because it helps me understand just how strange people are. I like beef chilli. One day I hope to be in love with a man who looks me in the eye and makes me feel safe and happy. I like people who surprise me and I love a matey argument that ends in laughter and a new way of looking at the world. I’ve been bullied and I thought I’d always feel alone but now I’m popular, confident and happy.
“I’ve been bullied and I thought I’d always feel alone but now I’m popular, confident and happy”
DtL: Do you have a ‘coming out’ story? If so could you share it with us?
Andy: I hid who I was for years through school. I was petrified and I dated girls but hated it because I was so scared that they might want me to sleep with them. Finally at university I felt far enough from home to reveal my secret. One night I went to an LGBT+ society meeting, frightened and excited, but when I got there they were playing a game where you had to throw a pair of pants to each other and admit your deepest sexual fantasy. I caught the pants and froze, feeling very silly. It all felt forced and cheap so I handed the boxers to the guy next to me and walked out. I heard the organiser say “well not everyone is honest about themselves” which stung me and made me feel angry. So I walked straight to a gay club and danced and drank and felt free. I did it by myself, for myself. A guy walked up and held a pair of pants in my face. He said “you left these”. He was the lad who’d been sitting next to me earlier. We kissed and danced and that night lay in my single bed together touching and kissing through our clothes, too scared to do more. It was exciting and terrifying but we both woke the next morning smiling. I knew then I was happy and unstoppable.
“There are some things we can change about ourselves. I don’t believe our sexuality is one of them. That’s not a frightening thing, it’s a wonderful, liberating thing”
DtL: What advice would you give to those who might be struggling to come to terms with their sexuality?
Andy: There are some things we can change about ourselves. I don’t believe our sexuality is one of them. That’s not a frightening thing, it’s a wonderful, liberating thing. Just think! The people you fancy are the people you fancy. You can’t alter it so you never have to think about it again! If anyone asks you to be different you can simply say “I can’t and don’t want to.” There’s literally no point. So just go and enjoy who you are. Find the strength to be who you are because nobody – yourself included – has the power or the right to change your feelings. If we’re not ourselves then we are nobody at all.
DtL: Have you ever experienced bullying? If so what happened?
Andy: I was bullied at secondary school for being gay, even though I was far from open about it. I was head boy in my lower sixth year and was often called “give head boy”. I can’t say it was the cruellest type of ridicule because I think, looking back, my classmates thought it was funny and simply part of who I was. I doubt it was born of hatred. Most of my bullying took place in primary school when I was painfully shy and hardworking. I was ignored and laughed at and sometimes punched and kicked for fun. In secondary school I was more popular because I was more confident. But then my sexuality made me go back into my shell a bit. I was petrified of being “found out” and I was so unhappy about the feelings I was having towards other boys. Homophobic language was common in my school and words like “gay” were used to describe anything weak or uncool. I was tortured by a pretty volcanic sex drive so it was a bit difficult at times to hide my attraction to guys. I remember I was spat on in PE once because a lad caught me in a daydream looking at him in his wet rugby shorts. What chance did I have? Lol. Funnily enough his best mate, Gary, who also picked on me, has since come out and he contacted me a couple of years ago on Facebook to explain that he fancied me. What a missed opportunity!
“Homophobic language was common in my school and words like ‘gay’ were used to describe anything weak or uncool”
[full-width-figure image=”https://dtl-staging.org/2020/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/ANDY-WEST6303-4.jpg”]
DtL: If you could go back in time and tell your younger self one thing, what would it be?
Andy: I would tell teenage Andy that I envy his youth and his energy, his health, his potential, his open mindedness, his stamina and his spirit. I would tell him to relax and be proud. I would ask him to stop pretending to fancy girls and stop trying to turn himself straight. I would tell him to ask Gary to go camping because in 15 years time he’ll tell you that’s what he really wants to do.
DtL: What are the best and worst things about being in the public eye?
Andy: The best thing is that I get to meet people who follow me and like what I do. It’s a huge compliment and for someone who often felt like a ghost at school it’s exciting and bewildering to find there are so many people who want to talk to me or have a picture or something. Many of them, particularly the boys, say they feel stronger being themselves because people like me are so comfy with who we are on TV and online. It’s an incredible feeling to know I’ve helped people to live their lives more happily. The shy insecure kid in me can’t believe it. The worst thing is having to accept that there are also people who, for whatever reason, don’t like me. It’s hurtful sometimes when people call me names on twitter or in comments under my newspaper articles but I just have to remind myself that they don’t know me and they’re allowed to dislike me. It’s just part of the deal.
“I have never met a clever, interesting, funny, successful, attractive person who wasn’t – at some point – bullied”
DtL: What advice would you give to those who are experiencing bullying?
It’s so hard to give simple advice to people who are being bullied because every case is unique. But I would tell them this: I have never met a clever, interesting, funny, successful, attractive person who wasn’t – at some point – bullied. Nobody would ask you to see your torment as a good thing but just remember that you are a strong, special, interesting person and you’re going to live an amazing life.
DtL: What does the future hold for Andy?
Andy: I’m happily writing a book, partly about bullying actually. And I’m busy embarking on this new, exciting chapter in my career. I was a tv newsreader before, now I’m carving out a new life as an entertainment presenter and showbiz reporter! It’s been exhausting and frightening at times but I know I’ll look back on this time and miss the excitement and opportunity.
“I’ve been under an awful lot of mental and emotional strain this year, being sacked by the BBC, going through a tumultuous time on Big Brother, having my heart broken and coming to terms with my new life”
DtL: Is there anything you would like to add?
Andy: Only that I’ve been under an awful lot of mental and emotional strain this year, being sacked by the BBC, going through a tumultuous time on Big Brother, having my heart broken and coming to terms with my new life. It’s easy sometimes to feel like I’ve lost myself in a whirlwind. But my real friends have kept me sane and told me when I need to breathe and calm down. So go and find good friends, be aware of what people do rather than what they say and treat the good ones with kindness, generosity and respect. You have no idea how important they will be to you one day. They will save you.
