‘Nobody should be boxed in or labelled – one size does not fit all!’
From a young age, I was always aware of other people, and what they thought of me. I was worried that they would make fun of me if I looked different to them or listened to unpopular music. I always tried my best to fit in; whether it was the way I dressed or what music I listened to – I wanted to be included in everything and thought if I was different from everyone else, then people wouldn’t want to be around me anymore.
I spent the majority of my teen years trying to ‘fit in’, and trying my hardest to belong to a specific group or ‘clique’. It wasn’t until I was about seventeen that I realised that everything I was doing was, well, totally wrong. I realised it was impossible to please everybody and that I was losing sight of my true self by becoming clones of other people. There really is no such thing as the perfect person and I was tired of trying to achieve the unachievable. I stopped listening to music that other people liked just to fit in and stopped wearing certain clothes and trainers just because it was seen as the ‘cool’ thing to do.
I slowly became my own person. Of course, it took some time to build up the confidence to do this, but day by day I was coming out of my shell. I started to become fearless – I didn’t care any longer about what people thought of me. Once I started becoming my own person and living life the way I wanted to without the influence of others, I realised I still had the people that mattered to me in my life. No one had judged me or rejected me because of my choices. It was so liberating! My attitude slowly but surely, completely changed. I actually wanted to be different. I didn’t want to fit in – as hipster as that might sound – I didn’t want to be a clone of other people; we are born individuals for a reason.
Embracing this newfound freedom, I started to change the way I looked. I dyed my hair pink when I was 18 (pink hair isn’t as shocking now as it is in fashion but it wasn’t at the time), I was so scared and yet so excited. The compliments I got were amazing! Sure, there were one or two people that questioned it, but it didn’t knock me down or make me want to dye my hair back to its natural colour. It just felt right. I felt like, for the first time, I looked the way I wanted to.
Tattoos have also played a big part in me finding myself and becoming the person I am today. I’ve always been fascinated by them – even from a young age! Being tattooed can be frustrating at times just because people instantly judge you and your character, but I wouldn’t change having tattoos for the world; they are what makes me…me! They are a part of me – and I have been able to express myself through them; some have a narrative behind them and some just show the things I like.
About a year ago I saw a tweet that said something like, ”Unless someone pays your bills, provides food for you or a roof over your head, their opinion of you really doesn’t matter” – and that was a defining moment for me. It opened up my eyes because it’s so true. Ever since I read that tweet it’s changed my life for the better. Other people’s opinions are just that – opinions! Their thoughts on your appearance, or what you enjoy doing do not define you as a person. Only you can define yourself. Of course, some people are still mean towards me and comment negatively about my blue hair and tattoos but I understand now that these people just have a fear of what they don’t know or can’t understand – so they lash out as a way of dealing with it. The negative things people say to me now don’t affect me, but I know that if I was still the person I was when I was younger, this wouldn’t be the case. Instead of hiding my quirkiness in fear of it not being accepted I embrace it!
To this day I still don’t fit in; the way I look and my interests are so all over the place, I find it impossible to categorise or ‘label’ myself. As cheesy as this sounds, you only have one life, so, do not live for other people. You are an individual. You shouldn’t put restrictions on yourself, nobody should be boxed in or labelled, one size does not fit all! No matter what your age, race, gender, ability, sexuality – no matter what you look like – you deserve to live life the way you want to without fear or worry! My motto is ‘normal is boring’ – never blend into the crowd.
Written by Lauren (Treacle Tatts)
